Take my hand, won't you? This is the 78th issue of the Fundraising Writing Newsletter. Kindly share it with someone who's committed to connection. (They can ​subscribe for free.)

In this issue:

• The power of “holding hands” in your fundraising 🤝
• Randomly yours: to inspire and recharge you

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Wednesday, February 15, 2023

Hi Reader,

Brett here:

If (like me) you were around for Hands Across America in 1986 ... I'm guessing you too remember it as a wonderfully cheesy Big Idea — a very American charitable idea: part marketing schlock, part irresistible idealism.

I suppose America has long leaned in this direction, and I further suppose we were leaning especially far in the '70s and '80s.

Take, for example, this gloriously goofy 1971 commercial (click the pic to enjoy a Coke and a smile):

Wow, it's capitalism, it's progressivism — it's undeniable!

But Hands Across America was no commercial for any product ... unless, maybe, the product was America and the consumer was Every Other Country in the World.

Here's pretty much how I remember this elaborate event (except I grew up in Illinois — nary a Saguaro in sight):

For the people in need who benefited from the Hands Across America t-shirt sales profits, the day was a $15 million success.

For participants like me (15 at the time) it was fun, kind of.

It was a pre-social-media photo-op (to the max).

AND it changed the world! Maybe? For a moment? Who knows. Every smidge of effort counts, right?

I mean, maybe the unifying sentiment of Hands Across America was the tipping point that prevented WWIII. Maybe it's what led to the fall of the Berlin Wall 3 years later.

Okay, no, probably not — but we'll never have clarity because there is no way for us to A/B test it. So...

... let's hold this thought and crystallize it:

The power of holding hands is (possibly) bigger than all of us. It's certainly big enough to make a difference in your fundraising.

And so I wonder if you know about...

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The power of “holding hands” in your fundraising 🤝

When I was an English teacher, I hit on the idea that one particularly good kind of transition amounts to "holding hands across paragraphs."

It's a visual metaphor meant to be memorable. It helped some 8th graders. I think it could help you too.

Back in those days, many of my writing assignments included checklists for editing and revising — and one item on those checklists was often something along the lines of:

The idea is that there are 2 kinds of transitions:

1. The kind of transition that builds conceptually on what came before.

2. The kind of transition that connects to one or more specific elements of what came before.

Let's look at some examples, all of them from a draft of an appeal Julie and I are writing for a client (about protecting and restoring wetlands in New Zealand).

Here's an example of #1:

Notice that the second paragraph builds conceptually on the first by commenting on it —

The first paragraph is about a government official doing the bidding of industry.

The second paragraph contains commentary on the first paragraph.

The third paragraph builds conceptually on the second by using the transition word "yet" and then declaring a position of opposition.

These simple transitions are common. They're appropriate most of the time.

BUT you can (sometimes; not always, that would be nauseating) write more powerful transitions that connect to specific words and/or phrases in the previous paragraph.

Here's an example of #2:

Notice that the second paragraph reuses a phrase from the quotation in the first paragraph: "right the balance" —

In the first paragraph, the phrase is a key idea expressed by a person who's making a difference for the wetlands.

In the second paragraph, the phrase is echoed/repurposed to amplify the ASK that invites the supporter to donate.

Here's another example of #2:

This time, let's play a wee game ...

Before I continue, see if you can spot the specific connections that "holds hands across paragraphs."

Okay, time's up. ⌛

The first and second paragraphs connect by holding hands via exact repetition of the phrase "threatened species."

The second and third paragraphs connect by holding hands via repetition/slight variation: "wetlands/wetland."

The third and fourth paragraphs connect by holding hands with the adjoining ideas "Every Wetland Counts/You do too!" (To connect the campaign name to the donor.)

This kind of transition (#2) is easy once you get the hang of it. It only takes practice.

And it's worth the trouble, because specific connections that hold hands across paragraphs can keep pulling your readers along from beginning to end.

If you pull your donors along "for the whole ride," surely they're "on your side!" ❤️

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Randomly yours: to inspire and recharge you

For your brain, heart, and funny bone...

• Fundraisingly Informative — To become a better writer you must read by Ann Wylie (an analysis of several great sentences and how to break them down to make your own original templates)
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• Audibly Technical — Bing's Revenge + Google's AI Faceplant via Hard Fork (a 55-minute podcast episode about last week's big developments in AI)
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• Visibly Moving — The Last of Us | Inside the Episode - 5 via HBO Max (a 6-minute video about the new HBO prestige series adaptation of the blockbuster video game; if you haven't seen the show or played the game, don't watch past the first 2 minutes if you want to avoid major spoilers; if you have seen the show, you'll love learning more about the phenomenal young deaf actor Keivonn Woodard, who plays Sam)
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• Philosophically Flip-Side-ish — Subtract by Derek Sivers (a very brief book excerpt about how society tends to want us to add things to our lives … so it’s easy to forget that sometimes (often?) the answer is in subtracting, not adding)
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• Analytically Comprehensive — The Changing Online Language of Hearts by Sheera Frenkel (a NYT article about how new generations constantly reinvent how to express love with emojis, ASCII art, hand gestures, and so on)

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Until next time: May you and your fundraising ideas always have good hands to hold!

All our best,

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PS: If you'd like to read past issues of this newsletter, the Fundraising Writing Newsletter archive is here.

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PPS: Need help with your donor communications? You might want to check out some portfolio examples (of appeals, newsletters, cases...) from The Case Writers — a collective of pro fundraising copywriters and designers with winning results (including yours truly).